An open letter to 1:00 a.m.

Dear 1:00 am,

I am but a simple college student and as a result the two of us have met on several occasions, usually due to my own actions. I do not blame you for existing in fact I much prefer you to some other times of day, I am of course talking to you 6:00 am. Regardless I have a few grievances that I would like to tell you about.

Did you know for instance that no one has ever done anything useful or productive with you around. You are distracting. You are a liar. You seduce the weak minded into making bad decisions and you love doing it. You disgust me. I don't mean to be a jerk but midnight is much prettier than you and everyone likes it much more. When you're not around we all talk about you and how much we hate you and dread seeing you again. The worst part of it all is that I don't really have any suggestions as to what you can do to improve yourself. Maybe try not to come so late every night. By the time you show up, the party is cooling down and no one wants to see you. You could try changing your name I guess. But no matter what you call yourself you will never offer the joy and excitement that 9:30 pm has, or the satisfaction of 5:00 pm. I know that this is a lot for you to handle all at once but I thought you should know the truth. So consider this our break up letter. Even though you may see me from time to time I do not want to look at you, go out for coffee, or talk about our feelings.

Just leave me alone and I will do the same.

Sincerely,

-Paul